Getting back on the dating scene after heartbreak—3 tips you need to know
Getting back out there after a painful breakup can be hard. There are ways to make yourself excited about dating after heartbreak.
Let's get to some of the things that make you scared to put yourself out there again...
You can get excited about dating after heartbreak even if...
You told yourself you would never open your heart again.
You told yourself that every guy on every dating app is the same guy.
You told yourself you would never go out with another Libra
You told yourself you would never date another Jim.
You are going to give up on dating forever and ever and ever.
We all know this is just your baggage coming up and telling you all of this nonsense. And there are things you have learned, are beginning to understand, and will understand in the future because of your past experiences.
The lonely night starts to get old and you have way too much time to think about your ex while you're sitting at home alone with your cat on Friday night.
You are getting tired of wallowing in your broken-hearted feelings. So you decide to activate your old tinder account, you start swiping...
The same guys are popping up from last year, and you start to feel the dread of swiping yet another Libra named Jim.
So you deactivate your account and get back to binging on Netflix again. But the yearning to be romanced and touched by a man who cares about you is more than your desire to never swipe again.
The heartbreak was terrifying, and there were times when you thought you might die from the pain— but you made it through that dreadful tunnel, and you realize that the heartbreak will eventually end.
And sometimes, just sometimes there is the possibility that the pain will completely go away and you will meet someone handsome, someone kind, someone sexy and someone great. And sometimes all 4 of those traits are all together at once with even much more.
The best thing about your breakup is that that part is over, and the pain of heartbreak does go away. Here are some things you can think about that will make you excited to start dating after heartbreak.
1. You are stronger now than you were before.
The pain was more than you could bare at times, but now that it's over, you no longer feel like a little girl.
Now you are a woman. Before you were innocent, naive, and maybe didn't even know what a night of the soul. You know— the time in your life you feel like your world is crashing in all around you and life just doesn't make sense.
Now you might understand a little bit about what the dark night of the soul is, and you can't help but become a deeper person and understand more of what you want, and really deserve in life.
Many times after a breakup people have a kind of awakening. Maybe you feel a more significant sense of purpose or a greater understanding of yourself or just a taste of knowing.
2. Love through osmosis.
Instead of being disgusted with seeing friends getting married, having babies and bragging about their dream vacation with their new dream boyfreind— you start riding the coattails of that loving feeling they have.
You start practicing a thing I call Love Absorption. Every time you see a couple in love, or a baby or a kitten or a pretty flower you tap into the feeling of love.
You just say to yourself— love is here for me too, and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth and you can learn how to get over depression after a breakup.
3. You learn to change your negative thoughts.
We all know they come up often, so you will have plenty of time to practice changing the negative ones to more positive ones. Learning to change your beliefs will help you heal your heart.
You don't have to be a pollyanna all the time, and changing negative thoughts won't happen overnight just do your best to notice when they come up.
When nasty thoughts come up about your ex, your mistakes, your love life, or your future, be easy on yourseslf— because you are human just like everyone reading this.
And you are loved, you are lovable, and you can change the ugly little monster thoughts you have in your mind. They are just thoughts, and you have the power to change them.
When you begin to change your negative thoughts, your energy will change, and more positive things will come your way. Like romantic feelings for yourself that are irresistible.
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