15 Ways to Mend Your Broken Heart Faster
An anonymous person once said, "If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."
This quote explains is one of the 15 ways that helped me mend my broken heart, and it can be one of yours to, because you will eventually build a bridge to a much better place.
I have loved once, twice, three times a lady, but in my case, it was a man. Or several men, rather.
I've been lovestruck many times, and due to my past co-dependency, my heart was broken just as many.
One thing I do know is that each time I met a new love our relationship was much better than the last.
Because I have learned to love myself more than before, and that makes feeling lovable and loving someone else so much easier.
Every time I had my heart shattered like a wine glass on tile, it hurt like hell, and these are the tips that helped me mend my broken heart, and I trust that these tips will help show you the ways to help you heal your heart too.
Stoping love is not an option because love runs this show called life.
Love is in every cell of every plant, animal and heartbroken woman and man on the planet.
When you lose the one you love and your love leaves by dying, cheating, or dumping you, the pain that comes from loving someone makes your next love even better.
These are the top 10 ways to mend my broken heart that will help patch you up so you can feel better and open your heart again. And you can learn more about healing your broken heart that is so easy.
1. Take the direct path through the pain.
Feeling the pain is more than challenging for many people, but you must let the emotions of losing a love pass through you, so the pain doesn't get stuck on your insides. You have to grieve so you can move on.
If the painful feelings come up and you ignore them, they will come up again and again like you are stuck in a roundabout. You will feel the same way again and again.
When you allow the intense pain of heartbreak pass through you, you will become a stronger person. The pain will eventually subside, but you have to let it process fully.
2. Enjoy your independence again.
I've heard the phrase, the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one, and it may be a quick fix to feeling better, but there is no reason to sleep with that hot guy from the gym a week after your breakup.
Buddha shared his enlightenment with the world and taught that detachment leads to suffering, and I know this to be true. When I looked for my happiness outside of myself in my partner, my energy was clingy and desperate.
When you are looking for your lover to make you feel happy, this feels like a lot of pressure to a man. It would seem to you too.
So understand that you have the key to your happiness by finding things that fulfill your life— alone. Your single time is the time to rediscover yourself and what makes you happy.
You can find happiness through your creativity, your spirituality, your career, your children, your hobbies, your friends, and your family.
You can do it. It is our jobs to make ourselves happy on our own because a man cannot make an unhappy woman happy, but he can make a happy woman happier.
3. Write out your positive aspects.
When you feel defeated, knocked down, and dragged out get out a pen and paper and make a list of things you are good at or want to be. Here are some examples.
I haven't smoked a cigarette for 20 years.
I am always on time.
I make a mean chicken salad.
I am good at breathing without even thinking about it.
I am a good friend.
I am a great dresser.
My friends tell me I am the best listener.
The way I decorated the bedroom even blows my mind.
I am an excellent single mother.
Dig in and make as big of a list as possible.
4. Imagine as if...
Grieving is part of everyone's life, except for the fully enlightened, and I don't personally know any of those people. Maybe Eckhart Tolle has got it going on.
Understand that it is OK to fantasize about being with your ex because if you try not to think about it, of course, you will have thoughts about him.
When it heartbreak happens, be gentle with yourself and tell yourself that is happens to the best of us. Your ex-was part of your experience for a while and the interactions are part of who you have become.
There once was a study where participants were asked not to think of a polar bear, and they had to ring a bell every time they thought about it.
The people in the study thought of the white bear more than once per minute on average.
So, allow yourself to have thoughts about your ex and don't beat yourself up about it.
And Wegner, a psychology professor at Harvard talked at the APA's 2011 convention, and he discussed several strategies to help you suppress the "white bear" thoughts.
Here are Harvard's tips for letting go of your ex:
- #5 Pick another distractor to think about, such as a red apple.
- #6 Postpone the thoughts about your ex. Set aside some time to worry later. When the thought comes up tell yourself, I'm going do that later. I will think about that in my worry hour next Tuesday.
- #7 Slow down on multitasking.
- #8 Allow yourself to think about the breakup it in a logical way, so you are less likely to think about it all day.
- #9 Meditate and be mindful. According to Wegner, these practices help you strengthen mental control and help you focus on other things instead.
Those are Harvard's best tips for suppressing obsessing thoughts about your "white bear, " and now I'm going to share some more.
#10 Help someone besides yourself.
When you listen to a friend's struggles, especially if she is also going through a similar situation, you can forget about your troubles and be present with hers.
#11 Random Acts Of Kindness.
Volunteer for a soup kitchen, give money to someone in need, leave a $5 bill on the ground, or to help your mom wash the dishes, are all ways of giving. These simple acts of good vibes will make you feel better.
When you share good with others, the goodness in your heart will expand. When you focus on giving instead of getting it will help you heal your heart.
#12 Let yourself cry
Tears help release stress and reduce stress hormones according to Judith Orlof M.D.
So grab the tissues and don't hold back. Crying also stimulates the production of endorphins, the feel-good hormones, and who doesn't want more of those hitting the pleasure center of your brain. I know I do!
There is no need to "man-up" and hold back the tears, let em rip!
#13 Watch a funny movie
Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." So let yourself have fun.
Watch Sex in the City reruns, go to a comedy club, or ask your most funny friend to dinner. Laughing will also help you heal your heart.
The Famous Dr. Seuss said "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. He got it partly right.
#14 Make a bad list and a good list.
Facebook stalking him or his friends, (hoping to see pictures of him), will probably be on the bad list. So will listening to "your" song from the Coldplay concert you went to with your ex. Going to his favorite bar hoping to "bump" into him should also be on the "bad" list.
For the good list, put down things you love to do, or things you would like to try. Sitting around and wallowing in sorry for three years isn't the best healing idea.
Want to try kickboxing or swimming classes? These will both increase serotonin, and make you healthier and feel better about yourself.
Or attend a lecture at a University. Pet your cat. Clean your room, (you will appreciate it later). Doodle, paint or listen to feel good music.
I suggest listening to this song.
#15 Seek hope.
Forgiveness must have hope. If you believe that you can feel better, it will help you get there faster. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen. Imaging yourself laughing with your friends out bowling, and ask your inner guidance for hope.
You will find it, and you will love again.
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